fess

to my dear
calculator boy:
you do realize
that you and i
do not add up?
[i like you anyway.]



tim took me out for tea yesterday. we spent three hours coming to the conclusion that nothing means anything. that the history of philosophy is the build-up to the big reveal... and there is nothing under the velvet cloth. physics and math and wittengstein proved that. i said, 'if i ever kill myself, you will know why. it will be because of physics and language philosophy.' he said, 'i wouldn't do that. i would prefer that you didn't.' i didn't say it, but if he was being consistent with his belief system, he wouldn't care.

we do not add up. i like him anyway. he likes me. we cannot be proved correct and necessary with math or logic. it makes me uncomfortable. i want to point this out to him, to tell him that our official worldviews allow very little room for the sort of relationship we have, but i don't know what to say.