Speaking In Tongues: The Gift

So last night, I was at Urban Life...which is like bible study but sounds cooler...for obvious reasons I guess. For the first time I witnessed many people speaking in tongues. It was something I couldn't interpret, but it was something so powerful that I couldn't look away, I didn't want to miss a thing, so I stood staring, listening to the sounds of the soul collide with the prayers being made. It was something magical.

I asked a friend what they were saying, I had already known about it but I wanted him to take it from the top and break it down to every little detail for me, I sat and listened while trying to tame my excitement. At first, it seemed like meditation, like something you say to get into a zone that belongs only to you. Then it sounded more like a language and less like gibberish. I felt like I didn't belong...after all, I would have been the only person in that room who did not posses this gift.

Of course, it's so easy to ask for it, but honestly, I was scared I wouldn't receive it. Also, I had received so many things in the past month from Jesus that I felt like I should just learn to accept and stop asking for more. Even though I wanted it so badly, I could see what I was already given.

Speaking in tongues is a gift. When you ask for this gift, it will gladly be given to you. I'm not sure if this is right or wrong. But I like my gifts when they come at magic moments. Like a birthday present. It's much more exciting to open your present on your birthday rather than before it. So until then, I'll be grateful with what I have and just sit patiently until I'm ready to receive something as powerful as this.

To conclude: I never realized how ignorant I really was. Somehow, for 17 years I managed to skip all of this, suddenly, I don't know life well at all and I'm taking baby steps to find where I truly am.

This just re-enforces a previous post:

"‘How silent it is!’ said the disciple.

‘Never say “how silent it is”,’ replied the teacher. ‘Say rather: “I cannot hear nature”."

NOTE: any questions regarding this leave it in the comment section and I'll get back to you.

The Meaning Of Life ...

Is there a curtain sustained meaning to life itself? Do we follow curtain guidelines in order to create a meaning to the life that has been given to us all? There are so many things in the world around me in which i have no answer for and or want answers for, one of those being the meaning of life.

Is there a link between beliefs, destiny, fate. luck, chance and even hope? Because to me it sure seems like it, as if we are pawns on a chess board or pieces to a puzzle as if we are put in a strategic position for us to succeed or fail, to make the right move under pressure, our life on earth as our time limit, because there may be an after life for us all but do we choose to believe it? we are alive are we not.

The meaning of life ... if you ask yourself that im sure there is a million possibilities going through your head, thoughts rushing through your mind like a man late for a business meeting. But what is the right answer.... is it right in front of us or do we have to sink deep in thought to realise something that seems so hard to understand and that is what is the meaning of life. The one question that can be answered a million times and have a million different answers.

There must be a reason to why we are here living this life whether you choose to think about it, discuss it or ask yourself the same question over and over. Do we want to think about this question do people wake up and ask themselves this question or do people not worry about such things because no one cares as they are alive and they are living a life and choose to not to wonder why. No one could possibly know the real answer to this question besides god himself ... or is there?

The Pink Elephant.

There's an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting,
so it is hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with "How are you?"
and "I'm fine" ...
And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter.
We talk about the weather.
We talk about work.
We talk about everything else -
except the elephant in the room.

There's an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all.
But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.

"What do you want to be when your older?"

Its amazing how many times people ask me this a month. But the answers I give them are everything short from amazing. Because the answer always is "I'm not sure."

This never used to bother me. At least until now. Before year 12 I thought I'd just let the job find me. Of course, there had to be a dream job that one day would just jump out and I would long to be employed into its arms. This was not the case at all...

Its year 12, half way through and I'm still as clueless as ever. I thought waiting for some sort of sign, or maybe if I just sat patiently something would come but now I'm growing impatient. What do I really want? and What can I really do?

Honestly, I cant look someone in the eye and give a straight answer. I still feel like a child, 17 is young to me and to pick a profession that I am bound to for the rest of my life. I don't want to pick the wrong one. Then what becomes of the life I want to live? Is it gone? Do I adjust? Is that what people do?

I don't want to adjust at all. I'm scared of changed, this is no secret. Sometimes change is for the better. Actually, a lot of the time it is. But I don't like how I can't control the changes the world throws at me sometimes.

Change is inevitable and I can't stay in school forever. And the time I have left to decide what I really want is beginning to suffocate me.

For the believers in fate and destiny.

Last night I was thinking about the choices we make in life and how it shapes out our lives to exactly the way it is today. "What if" always comes to mind. What if I did this instead of that? Then I thought a little bit deeper. Fate. Do we really make choices? Or are we following an invisible line that is forcing us where to go until death, or perhaps beyond death. Then theres destiny, can you change your destiny by choice, re-writing your fate? Or are we all still walking that invisible line? Then again, perhaps we can change what we do but fate will fret until it gets it way so that it can please destiny. In the end the question would be something like: "Do we really need to make choices in life, or will we just delay the time it takes to get to wherever it is were were destined to be?"