I believe in trusting someone only once. Ive never always thought this way but the events that have occured in my life have lead me to be the way i am today. Trust has been an enormous issue throughout my entire life, i have always looked for the good in everyone at first and trusted the person i see and not the person i know.
The betrayal of trust within my life has lead me to take a different view and standing on 'trust' itself, i have learned that you can only trust a person only once because as a quote i remember quite clearly states "If someone betrays you once it is their fault, if someone betrays you twice it is your fault" this was a quote by Elenor Roosevelt. A quote in which i live by now. The people who lead you to believe they are trustworthy should stay that way, but those who betray you once should not be forgiven.
This brings me to another point "forgive and forget", it is something im familiar with but never go with in life, i just dont see how some people can ask for forgiveness when they have commited a crime, betrayed your trust, or just generally done something unforgivable. They should know the consequences and understand the quality of loyalty. I have always believed myself to be one person who anyone can trust with something big, i know i havent got the best qualities for best friend material but i make up with it by being able to listen to someone and getting an understanding of their life so that maybe i can help in some way.
I know not everyone goes with my philosphy on trust and betrayal, everyone has there own opinion and i am aware of that, i dont disagree with how people go about it but my view is clear, if i have been betrayed once, then dont go looking for a second chance because i have given so many out before and had it thrown back in my face which is why i chose my way on trust and betrayal.
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4 comments:
ahh this is where we differ, i happen to be a 'forgive and forget' person. i guess im lucky then, or maybe i just have tolerance in areas like these. i totally understand where your coming from though and i still stand by the quote, because its true. if you've been deceived once...then its your fault for letting it happen twice.
a good write!! :D
I think understand what you're saying.
I have been pretty good with the trust thing, I usually meet a person, try and think the best of them, till they prove me wrong.
I have had some of the people closest to me betray my trust, and although I don't think I am holding a grudge, I don't talk to them, about anything of importance, I don't tell them .. secrets, as such. After trust in a relationship, by that I mean any relationship, has been broken, it takes ages to build it back up.
I think I am probably the one who suffers most in the "shut-out" situation I put yself in when someone betrays my trust, but it is my choice... ?
Even after all that, I am still a big believer in forgive and forget (double standards here...?). A song I like sums it up pretty well..
"There's hope for every fallen man, forgivess can be given when you think it can't, because with every passing second comes a second chance
But then theres the people I know who take advantage of that I give them.. chances
??? i don't know,
but i understand your views on it, thanks for sharing! goood write!
apologies for the blabbering.
When you say you dont "forgive and forget" is that only if the people that have betrayed you have purposely done it? Because alot of the time people don't mean to betray your trust, it can just accidentally happen. But I suppose it is fair to withdraw your trust in them if you really feel you need to. When some people, people very close to you break your trust, you can find it hard to trust others. Whenever that happens to me, I think to myself, "if someone that close to me can do something like that to me, and not feel bad about it, anyone could" So most of the time if someone does break my trust, I don't trust anyone else either.
To a curtain extent will i give out my trust if they betray it zoey then it will be extremely hard for me to give it out to them again if they are asking for it once more or i knew it was an accident. Also it is not that i dont trust anyone else anymore like you, i give everyone a piece of my trust at the start and if it is broken then its going to be hard for them to get it back but if they continue to be loyal to me then my trust in them grows, if i have been betrayed by one person im not going to hate everyone and not trust anyone else for it, just that person.
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