Over the last couple of weeks I have felt worse and worse about myself. I have sat in my room, slept, gone on the computer and just tried to keep to myself. I was dreading the return to school. Having to face everyone again. To put on the plastic smile and pretend like everything is ok. When I know deep down it isn't. Something isn't right.
It came to me the day before last, as I had just had a very bad day at school, and alot of things from the past had been brought up. And my aunty asked me to do the washing up, take the clothes off the line, mop the floors and clean the mirrors. I really wasn't up to it, and just wanted to lie on my bed, listen to music, sleep, just anything to relax for a while. I felt so drained.
But still, she has just been through a pretty rough divorce, and I didn't exactly want her screaming at me at the moment, because I probably would have slapped her. So I got up and did the washing up mopped the floors did the mirrors and took the clothes off the line. I finally dragged myself back to bed and just lay there. I think I fell asleep because when I opened my eyes she was walking into my room. Which was unexpected.
She was upest at me for using the wrong polish on the mirrors. I was lectured about not listening and not doing anything right. And the whole time I was thinking, atleast I tried. But I only ever get noticed when I do something wrong. Not when something is done right. She didn't notice the clothes, the floors or the washing up. No. Only noticed the flaw.
As you can imagine I felt pretty crushed.
2 comments:
seriously, we all gave days like these. and it also depends on the person, she was probably having a pretty crap day too which is why due to the laws of attraction (lol getting all scinency now), shes probably attracting all the negative stuff and is totally oblivious to the good things. i think at the end of it all it was two people having a bad day.
also assuming this is a frequent thing, maybe you should just bring it up, like dont argue, but just say 'look, ive actually done quite a bit, dont pound me down for one thing'
I know, but she isn't the only person that does it. My dad used to do it too, and they don't realise how much I have been struggling just to get through the day lately o;
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