I've kept things inside for far too long. I seem to think that time will fix every single problem that befalls unto me. But I'm wrong. I was unaware that subconsciously it was wearing me down. As if I'm walking down the road with a backpack, and slowly the backpack fills more and more. Why can't its contents just fall out? Why won't the bag just rip open?
We all have our secrets. As much as I don't like to keep them, I have them. I have many failed attempts at releasing them. The problem always was: who do I tell? Who would know how to tackle these problems with such assertiveness that once the coming problem has been dealt with, that is the end of it forever?
My personal issue is that there are so much complications to this problem that it has been made unique. Nobody can relate to a problem like mine. Nobody can give an easy answer to it, nor even attempt to answer it at risk that they would lose confidence and credibility in their own words.
Some things are very hard to hide. I don't intend to keep it in forever, but I'm looking for the right person. I need a resolve more than ever and this new-found public display of depression isn't something I favor.
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2 comments:
Seems as if you are becoming a bit stressed. But i can understand the point your coming from, i really have not found the 'right' person to express the secrets i have to even though i did mention some it did almost backfire. My best mate knows some of mine and i guess some day in future he will know more as you see we have different styles in trusting someone so my perspective is quite different to yours. Finding the right person wont be easy, the best way to find out is if you can tell one of your closest friends or at least try to because you wont know who is right and who is wrong without at least giving it a go.
I'm not sure exactly what to say...
:(
i hope you find the right person to tell soon.
I find I keep a lot of secrets, I don't know who to trust, more than who'd understand. And theres some things I just don't say because I know the other person I want to tell is too weighed down with their own things, I don't want to add worry about me... but then I think how much I care about my friends/family, and how much I'd be hurt if they didn't say anything no matter how much crap is going on.
???
ms. pascoe says I should stop taking on other peoples problems... because "it's having an effect on me emotionally, it's very straining.."
but I think it's just how I am..
I like helping my friends.
And I'm sure who you tell will feel the same about you. Your friends love you to bits I'm sure.. don't wait toooo long. Secrets have a way of causing damage..
...yeahh. still don't know what to say.
hope you're ok
steph
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