Wednesday, 19 September 2007

The choices we don't make

I've come to the conclusion that there is no fate, there is no destiny and there is no plan for your life. That is, your fate, destiny and plan won't be there for you if you don't want it. I think the main concern with life is the acceptance of choices we make and how hard it realize we can't re-write them.

I have my fair share of regrets and the result of the choices I've made in my life (Ichijouji if you're reading this, this applies to you). I make bad ones a lot of the time. I make the kind that boost my adrenaline (...and sometimes testosterone) for that moment in time, only to have consequences in another moment later in time.

I've noticed a lot of people have stopped making choices and let time eventually close off all options to make their lives as impermeable as possible. I can honestly say I've done this. When something is too hard or when it seems too complicated to deal with I just stay away and don't act.

There are people out there who are having constant bad days, and not just the week-long-feel-like-crap ones. The month-long ones. It happened to me. I feel like everything is just too much and I'm slowly withdrawing myself from my own life. I realized it wasn't because of the choices I made, it was because of the choices I've put off, the things I should act on that have yet to be acted upon.

The Dali Lama is a very wise man, he refuses to blame anybody but himself for everything. That is undivided selflessness. I aspire to be the same. I don't like to blame people for the way I am, instead of feeling better about myself when I bash down another person, I'd rather say 'what can I do to make myself better?'

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

this is so true. while i do believe that god can and does sometimes intervene in people's lives, it is not really our right to leave everything up to chance and then complain about what we're stuck with. on the other hand, having been in a place where not only did i withdraw from my own life, but also made myself believe that it was all i could do, i understand how people can become trapped in their own apathy. it is a horrible feeling. this post made me think of some of the people i work with. they are completely stuck in dead-end minimum wage jobs, and for some reason they don't have the drive to pull themselves out. probably most of them think that it can't be done.

[this is why i hate my job. it's hard to remember that i work to save money for college, when all around me, people are working for no reason other than to get by, and they have no expectations that anything will change for them. it probably won't. i think the attitude of the people you associate with has great impact on your own idea of your reality.]